heteroromantic Archives | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve heard it called “queer straightness”…”

October 19, 2016 / No Comments

dear anon from this post, upon hitting “post” after typing up a response to your most recent asks, Tumblr decided to be a Piece Of Shit and not actually post the ask at all. i have no idea where that ask even went, but thanks to a browser extension i still have my response to the asks word-for-word, so here it is without the first part of the ask and thus missing a lot of context for everyone else, but oh well… (2) I’ve heard it called “queer straightness”. Imo that’s not a reason to banish anyone from anywhere , but then again, I don’t know how things work over there. Thanks again for answering, now I understand this whole situation better. ( re: this post ) thanks for coming back and responding to my response, anon, and i apologize from totally running away with your ask. my response was…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have a question about the definition of bisexuality.”

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I have a question about the definition of bisexuality. I’ve been using a “same + different” -definition and that’s what I’ve seen being used the most. “Two or more” is alright, but if “same gender” is not required, why is it not under heterosexuality? I’m assuming the reason is political, but I want to be sure. hello anon, i’m guessing that this ask is related to this post where i say that i personally find defining bi as attraction to “same and different / other gender(s)” to be problematic. there’s actually nothing “political” about why a person doesn’t have to experience attraction towards people of the “same” or “similar” gender to be bi. that is, unless you consider the feelings and experiences of bi non-binary people to be “political,” which i sincerely hope not. the reason why i personally, as well as many others, find the “same and different / other” definition of bi to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation…”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation. Mainly because I don’t really care what someone’s gender is… Like as long as you’re not a jerk I’m okay with you. For some reason I just don’t know if I’m actually Asexual Heteroromantic, like it’s typically the male gender that I want to have a romantic relationship with but I’ve felt that way about girls? What am I?! (Also I recently discovered your blog and I thinks it’s awesome.) hello and thanks for following. 🙂 i’m afraid that i can’t tell you what you are. after all, there’s no way that i could know more about you than you know about yourself. that said, if you feel like you might be attracted to people of more than one gender (or any gender) then perhaps you are…? trust in your own feelings, but also keep in mind that it’s perfectly fine…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Thanks for the heteroromantic homosexual flag and thank you for your responses…”

July 31, 2016 /

anonymous said: Thanks for the heteroromantic homosexual flag and thank you for your responses and other people for their nice comments when this other tumblr user was more or less telling I’m not normal. It took more than 30 years before I could name my orientation and I was so happy when I was finally could do it. So it’s not nice to be insulted by someone who wasn’t asked a thing. Sorry if you were annoyed because of me and sorry for my bad English, it’s not my mother tongue. And again THANKS. (re: this post) no problem, anon, and no worries. i’m more than happy to help when i can and your English is great. i was annoyed at the other person, not you. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Do you know a pride flag for heteroromantic homosexual?”

July 31, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. Do you know a pride flag for heteroromantic homosexual? Thanks hello. 🙂 there are no ‘official’ flags for mixed orientations (romantic & sexual orientations which differ from each other), but many people use the flag that is common for sexual orientations with a heart in the center in the colors of their romantic orientation. since i couldn’t find a decent example to link you to, i made one. here you go.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’?”

July 23, 2016 / 1 Comment

anonymous said: Hi! I really like your blog, and I’ve seen a few of your videos, you’re really cool and you helped me a lot on understanding my identity. I wanted to ask you, but of course you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, what are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’? hello and thanks for the kind words. 🙂 i’m going to be a bit pedantic and ask what exactly you’re referring to when you say ‘the ace discourse’ because i feel like this phrase is being used to refer to a lot of different (although related) stuff that’s been going on on Tumblr for a while now. do you mean how some people insist that inclusion in ‘the LGBT community’ is based on oppression? that aces aren’t oppressed at all? that aces are oppressed, but not for being ace? do you mean how some people insist that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but…”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi There. My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but he is not attracted to them outside of the bedroom. I was reading something online and found out that he might be a heteroromantic bisexual. I would just like to know if there are cases wherein a heteroromantic bisexual man can become a fully homosexual man? Has there been cases that you know of when this has happened? Thank you for your time. hello, anon. for anyone there is a possibility that one’s sexuality may change or that one might discover something new about oneself that one didn’t previously know. this is as true for you as it is for your boyfriend and for anyone else. in fact, this was true even before your boyfriend came out to you. however, the fact that you’ve became concerned about this upon discovering…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “They don’t face opression at all is what I believe.”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: They don’t face opression at all is what I believe. I don’t think it’s about ((enough)) I think it’s about being opressed at all and they aren’t. They face a stigma and I’ll call that shit out when I see it but, I don’t think it’s opression at all? Idk just my opinion. i understand that that’s your opinion, but i’m not sure what you want me to say? like i’ve said before, imho whether heteroromantic aces face oppression or not is beside the point. my stance on whether they have the right to identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community remains a firm “yes” because like i said, oppression isn’t the determining factor for me. if you’re looking for me to take a stance on whether heteroromantic aces face oppression at all or whether what they face is stigma, i’m afraid i’m not going to give you…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community, isnt the opression we shared what ended up bringing us together (re: this post) …this response started out short, but then it turned into me venting. sorry, anon. sure, for some it is a major– possibly even a determining– factor of their personal identity as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. but like i said, imho, it isn’t the determining factor. even if one person does feel like it is the determining factor of their personal identity, it is a mistake to then assume that that holds true for everyone. not everyone’s identity is determined in part or entirely by their oppression. on top of that, oppression isn’t even something one can measure to determine whether someone is “oppressed enough” to have the right to identify as a part of the community. if someone was to try and measure…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community…”

March 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community. I was wondering, do you think there’s racism in the ace community? I’ve never noticed any, but then I’m white, so that’s not rlly my call. I think maybe it has to do with the use of the term allosexual, which has been said to have racist and transphobic roots. What’s your opinion on “allosexual”, and do you think “het aces” shld be included in the LGBTQ+ community? there are racist (and transphobic) people everywhere and the ace community is no exception to that. however, there being racist (and transphobic) people in the ace community doesn’t make the entire community racist (or transphobic). that would be an overgeneralization. people have made the claim that the term allosexual is racist and/or transphobic, but i…

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Vesper H.

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