genitals Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out?”

March 8, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey! So a hypothetical question about that last post. (Pardon my assumptions on this kind of attraction, I’m aroace and trying to learn) Say someone is panromantic, but are not sexually attracted to/repulsed by penises. What if they’re dating someone for a while and are romantically very interested in them. They go to the bedroom for the first time and find out the person they were dating has a penis. Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out? (in reference to this post) if at any point or for any reason a person is uncomfortable with or does not desire sex, they are never in the wrong for voicing that and saying no to sex. this would not be transphobic at all, imho.

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

Cosmopolitan: “Everything You Need To Know About Demisexuality”
March 20, 2017

one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.
September 23, 2016

photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)
May 7, 2014
[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic…”

March 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: My friend & I both identify as queer women. She is only attracted to masculine-identified and presenting people with vaginas, and I am only attracted to feminine-identified and presenting people with vaginas. So she only dates masculine women and non-binary afab people and trans men, and I only date feminine women and non-binary afab people. People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic and hers isn’t. But what’s the difference? Am I really transphobic? i can only really tell you my opinion, which i’m sure not everyone will agree with, but… when i first read this ask i had to stop and read it over a few times because i see several things about both attractions that are potentially offensive / cissexist / transphobic. it’s obvious that you’ve tried to word things in a way that avoids misgendering people and associating gender with…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like
April 27, 2015

tfw TERFs.
March 1, 2017

QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts
February 27, 2019
Q&A

Q&A: “…why are lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic?”

October 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Different anon but I have a q about something u said in the last anon q you answered. If it is okay for people to be repulsed by certain genitalia than why do lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic? This is something I’ve seen in a lot of places on tumblr. Can you speak more about being repulsed by certain genitalia being okay? [this is in reference to this post] *takes a deep breath, steadying themself for potential backlash from this post* …the following is my opinion, but there is a difference between: defining your orientation based solely on the genitalia you do or do not find repulsive.* (ie. saying that you’re a lesbian or gynosexual because you’re repulsed by penises.) defining your orientation based on your attraction to X (Y, Z) gender(s) and then adding a…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Q&A

Q&A: “Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic…?”

October 12, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic because they reinforce genitalia=gender by only having sex with people as the same genitals as their own? …………..i’m going to respond to this in the format of a list because after sitting on this ask for nearly a day i have decided that that is the best way to keep this response from turning into a rant. when a person (regardless of their sexuality) is attracted to someone else they are attracted to that person’s character, to their self-expression, to their smile, to their identity, to their voice, to who they are as a person. people do not use x-ray vision to look through a person’s clothing to see what genitalia they have and decide whether they find that genitalia attractive or not. why are you equating same-gender attraction with same-genitalia attraction? there actually are people of every orientation who find…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016