gender expression Archives | Queer As Cat

Feedback, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Feedback: “I’m sure there are plenty of other trans people who want to be visibly trans…”

September 22, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: On the visibility thing- I am a trans person who wants to be proudly and visibly trans, mostly because I’m genderqueer and there isn’t really a way to “pass” as gq, so being seen as cis is automatically misgendering me. So I try to be as “nonpassing” and obviously trans/queer as possible. And I’m sure there are plenty of other trans people who want to be visibly trans, otherwise stuff like trans pride shirts and such wouldn’t exist, no? Or am I misunderstanding what you mean by visibility? ( re: this post ) i agree with you, anon, that there are a lot of people who want to visibly subvert and / or defy the assumption that they are cis a man / woman or otherwise a binary gender that they are not– especially among those for whom (as you pointed out) “passing” as their gender (or lack thereof) is…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “how would a person go about separating gender identity and presentation?”

August 31, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey there! i just came across this blog, so im unsure where to look or search. how would a person go about separating gender identity and presentation? i personally when i first learned about feminism, i immediately understood no actions, feelings, way of dressing/presenting signified anything about gender. though it’s maybe left me a bit lost now (currently i recently started using the label neutrois lesbian, and only feeling “feminine” or “womanness” when i thought of my attraction to women)? hi anon, i feel like it’s worth pointing out that not everyone does view their gender as being separate or independent of how they present or express themself. and that’s okay. some people do feel like how they present / express themself is reflective of their gender or vice versa. there is a push now to draw a clear line between these two things, but not everyone feels…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?
October 12, 2013

QAC 01 – Introduction
May 11, 2013

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August 19, 2016
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QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny

August 16, 2017 / No Comments

as a non-binary person who was deemed to be female at birth, i have struggled all my life with what others consider to be my “womanhood”. when women have fought so hard to progress gender equality to where it is today, asserting that there is no wrong way to be a woman because women can do and be anything– juxtaposed against the continual struggle of trans women and some non-binary people just to have their womanhood recognized and respected– it is incredibly hard not to see my own rejection of womanhood as anything other than internalized misogyny. it certainly doesn’t help that society in general, but women especially, are often more than happy to write off my gender as being nothing more than internalized misogyny. i mean, given how awesome women are but how misogynistic society is, obviously any disconnect i feel with womanhood must be a result of internalized…

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Vesper H.

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🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA
January 4, 2020

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May 14, 2016

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September 15, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “…does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation?”

February 21, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Concerning being either GNC or nonbinary, does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation? I’m in hard science, which tends to have much stricter standards of “professional presentation” (and thus gender-performance), than the humanities. I couldn’t get away with half of the presentation stuff that people on Tumblr endlessly espouse if I want to actually get a job in my chosen field, which is then used as proof that I’m a faker and trend-follower. unfortunately i don’t have any links on hand to offer you, but i have seen many people both online and offline talk about the limitations (or even complete inability) that they face regarding being able to present themselves in a way that reflects their gender (or lack thereof)– both in regards to on the job and as a student because of standards re: “professionalism”. especially here in Japan…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 25 – Quasi-review: Nabeshirts / ナベシャツ Binders
June 17, 2014

Huffpost: “When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary”
October 30, 2016

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July 14, 2016
[Random] Thoughts, Queer[ness]

hats. hats. hats.

December 26, 2016 / No Comments

queerascat: …you know you have a problem when 3 out of the 4 hats that you own are exactly the same hat in exactly the same colors (black / gray / white) just in different patterns / materials. to be fair, though, the latest (solid black) one was half the price of the others despite being the same brand and everything, so of course i’m going to buy it. i mean, solid black is my thing– if anything, you’d have thought it’d have been the first hat i’d have bought, right? hmph. ;( more random thoughts about hats because i’m exceptionally longwinded tonight, apparently. …is it odd that i only got into hats once my hair started falling into “wow, your hair’s long feminine!” category in people’s eyes? like, before that i never even really gave hats any thought. now it’s almost like i feel a need to wear a hat…

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Vesper H.

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August 24, 2016

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August 11, 2015

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December 30, 2016
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Farewell, Saint Harridan. Thank you for everything.

December 17, 2016 / No Comments

Saint Harridan, an Oakland based clothing company born from a Kickstarter campaign in 2012 with the aim of creating clothing that helped masculine women and gender diverse people express their authentic selves, officially closes its doors for the last time today… in a tear-jerking farewell message, owner Mary Going shared the above video saying:e We hope that our contribution will lend itself to the next wave of the un-doing of the gender binary and the dismantling of the narrow boxes into which we have previously been crammed. We have been so very proud to reflect and serve this community. Collectively, we have all contributed to this revolutionary momentum. At Saint Harridan, we have had the privilege to hear your stories and share your life’s milestones: weddings, job interviews, college tours, proms, high school graduations and even burials. You showed up looking like you felt, dressed in a way that lent…

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Vesper H.

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November 19, 2016

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July 23, 2017

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September 9, 2017
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Q&A not Q&A: “I’m a female androgyne & clothes are a problem for me.”

September 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I really like your style. I’m a female androgyne & clothes are a problem for me. I’m skinny & short & I like men’s clothes but they don’t fit me because they are all too big for me. So I hate how I look like. I see pictures on the internet with beautiful women wearing great men’s clothes, they are divine but where I live there’s not a single shop for genderqueer. When I’m trying to tell this to someone, girls are telling me that with my body I can wear what I want. Yes… in a shop for women thanks, anon. 🙂 i totally share your frustration when it comes to shopping for clothes…. i, too, prefer clothes that tend to be in “men’s” sections. i’m also (very) short and have more curves than i care to admit… that, combined with how selective and uncompromising i…

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Vesper H.

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July 23, 2017

QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?
September 18, 2018

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May 15, 2017
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I was wondering if it’s still possible to be nb if you present/have a mostly femme style.”

August 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I was wondering if it’s still possible to be nb if you present/have a mostly femme style. definitely. you can expressing yourself however you like and still be non-binary, anon. femme non-binary people are no less non-binary than anyone else.

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Vesper H.

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April 25, 2015

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May 29, 2013

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October 10, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A

Q&A: “…would it be correct to suppose that Maverique is on a spectrum of its own, with two opposite ends…?”

June 2, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey Vesper. I have a thought. What if Maverique is its own unique gender the way that the four temperaments are each distinct, being two pairs of opposites but not excluding the other pair. Like for instance sanguines are the opposite of melancholy, but that does not exclude the existance of cholerics and phlegmatics. Type A and Type B are not the only two personality types but they are opposites. Temperament is not a one-dimensional thing like a spectrum between two types. To elaborate on my thoughts. If Maverique is a gender outside of the masculine-feminine spectrum, then would it be correct to suppose that Maverique is on a spectrum of its own, with two opposite ends, just like sanguine and melancholy temperaments are on a spectrum separate from Choleric and phlegmatic? The way I want to illustrate my supposition is as follows: let’s say that maverique is…

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Vesper H.

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July 6, 2013
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Q&A: “ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy…”

April 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy and i definitely have a gender but i dont know what? and ive been very confused on presentation lately bc i want to be understood with an underlying masculinity but wear feminine stuff and im just kinda??? its just very confusing and im very lost hi, anon. 🙂 i understand that feeling confused and lost sucks, but really it’s okay. it’s okay to be confused. it’s okay to not know what your gender is. it’s okay to not be sure how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not be sure how to achieve how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not know how your presentation relates to your gender, if it even does at all. as much as being confused and lost sucks, it is…

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Vesper H.

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