dysphoria Archives | Page 2 of 3 | Queer As Cat

[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 47 – Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit

February 28, 2016 / No Comments

Queer As Cat (the channel) is about to turn 3 years old and (miraculously) reached 4k subscribers last week…! and for some reason i feel like taking this channel back to old times where i casually vomit words at you in a single, raw take. to make this word vomit a bit more digestible, here’s the gist of what i talk about with time points. 00:00 – tea tea tea 00:33 – 4k subscribers omg 02:05 – financial stress: why i’ve made some changes to the channel 05:30 – rethinking “transitioning” in Japan 10:51 – body mods & dysphoria: how the two are linked for me 15:35 – tea or coffee: which do you prefer? as always, thank you for watching. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that…”

November 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: my friend group has always had this thing where they call me “mom”. a while ago I came out as trans to most of them, and one of my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that bc it’s just our thing. but it’s kind of been bothering me lately bc I don’t want that used for me anymore. I feel like if I tell them that, they’ll get annoyed and ignore me and think I’m making a big deal out of it, when it actually kind of makes me dysphoric. my humble opinion is that you should be up front with them. tell them what you’ve told me, that being referred to as “mom” makes you feel dysphoric/that you aren’t comfortable being referred to as that anymore. if they’re really your friends they shouldn’t ignore or belittle your…

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Vesper H.

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February 23, 2016
[Random] Thoughts, Japan[ese]

one of those days.

April 2, 2015 / No Comments

today was another one of those days. after showering i looked in the mirror. why did i do that?? i knew what i’d see and how it’d make me feel. then i spent 2.5 hours doing my hair, only to have to fight the urge to cut it once i was done. again. i love my hair and yet i don’t. no one would dare try to talk me out of cutting it once i told them how it’s so heavy that it gives me headaches when i wear it in a pony tail to keep it out of the way for a prolonged period of time, or how it hurts my neck while washing it because it becomes so heavy with water; how i go through so much product that is expensive to import and how it takes 10hrs to fully dry, which sucks all kinds of hell in…

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Vesper H.

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November 14, 2015

QAC 24.5 Life Update: Tokyo / Asexual Pride + Outted Again + More
June 3, 2014
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QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

March 16, 2015 / No Comments

trigger warning: body negativity, gender dysphoria, hints of self-harm, cursing a rant about my own negative body image and how that body image intersects with my identity as a black non-binary asexual. i touch upon a lot in this long video, so for your ease of viewing: ====== Time Points ======== @00:00 – introduction @00:57 – dismissal of my body issues @02:18 – height and dysphoria @05:08 – having lordosis and being misgendered @09:53 – hypersexualization of my butt as a black non-binary ace @12:44 – hypersexualization of my lips as a black non-binary ace @13:27 – self-destructive habits: lip picking @15:33 – hating my natural hair @19:00 – body modification and body positivity @21:16 – i’d love to hear from you ======================== “awkward but necessary” pretty much sums up this video.

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Vesper H.

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QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?
October 12, 2013

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February 27, 2019
Gender[queer], Japan[ese], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 33 – (Not) “Transitioning” As Non-Binary in Japan

December 30, 2014 / No Comments

apologies for this video being incredibly long– there was lots to address and i still didn’t cover everything! in this video i talk about my current intentions re: social and medical/physical “transitioning”, why i personally don’t care for the term “transition”, why i won’t be doing anything while in Japan, why “transitioning” as a non-binary person is different from “transitioning” as a binary person and lots more. please bear in mind that this really isn’t meant as an educational video, but maybe it’ll be informative nonetheless…? =================== TIME POINT INDEX =================== @00:00 happy holidays! @00:20 why i don’t look forward to 2015 @02:22 why i don’t care for the term “transition” @04:48 TMI & trigger warnings –SOCIAL TRANSITION– @05:20 what is social transition? @06:36 social “transitioning” as non-binary @07:03 name change abroad, name dysphoria @09:01 coming out in Japan @11:13 gender marker change + bathrooms in Japan @12:39 voice training,…

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Vesper H.

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June 24, 2013

QAC 30 – Gender Expression / Presentation Blurb
October 28, 2014
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QAC 29 – (Not) Coping + 3 More Years in Japan

August 24, 2014 / No Comments

coping with dysphoria and being in the closet is tough for anyone, right? but as things are now, am i really coping at all or am i just setting myself up for disaster in the future? after all, going through life numb to your own feelings and thoughts can’t be a good thing… and on top of this, i’ve just signed a contract sentencing myself to 3 more years of dysphoria and life in the closet. i must be insane?

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Vesper H.

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QAC 56 – Non-Binary In The Workplace: Job Hunting In Japan
March 5, 2017

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June 14, 2013

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August 4, 2017
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QAC 26 – Gender Dysphoria: It’s Complicated. (a rant)

June 30, 2014 / No Comments

GENDER DYSPHORIA ISN’T BLACK & WHITE. NOTHING is black & white and i really wish people would stop acting as if body dysphoria is the black and social dysphoria the white of gender dysphoria. IT’S FAR MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. and that’s before you even consider that even internal/body dysphoria is inevitably connected to society, which i didn’t talk about at all in this video. anyway, i feel like more people need to acknowledge this fact, advice/resource blogs and websites especially. …i can’t even remember what it was that set me off on this rant. it was triggered earlier this week, but it wasn’t until today that i had time to get in front of a camera zzz…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 27 – Goodbye Neutrois, Hello Maverique (ie. me changing labels)
July 7, 2014

QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet
August 11, 2013

QAC 14 – Anatomy and Gender Presentation
August 18, 2013
[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness]

that feel when…

June 28, 2014 / No Comments

….you think about how impossible it is to “pass” as a non-binary person.

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Vesper H.

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totally random Yukihari / hazardaĵo pri Yukihari

June 26, 2014 / No Comments

does anyone else do this and it really piss you off that you do? talk in a ridiculously high voice and use wordage you’d otherwise NEVER use because you’re: talking to an animal talking to a young child/baby working a customer service job goddamn society conditioning me to do crap i detest, making it so hard for me to NOT automatically do it. i nearly deleted this video as soon as i saw it because my voice etc really disgusts me, but then i couldn’t delete Yuki’s cuteness. ;(

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Vesper H.

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“the faces of Vesper”

June 8, 2014 / No Comments

one day the locs that frame my face will be gone and i can’t help but wonder if i’ll even recognize my own face without them— they’ve become such A Thing. either way, the love-hate relationship with my hair continues for now…

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Vesper H.

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