happy new year…! speaking of new years, i seem to have inadvertently ended up still being on T (nearly) 1 year after having started, despite having never intended to continue HRT for so long…
from YouTube: (more than) two months has passed since my last T update and a lot has happened…? increased acne, continued voice dropping; increasing body hair, fat redistribution; adjusting to having a libido, enjoying no longer being anemic; a failed health check, stopping T– wait, what?
looking back over the past month, it feels like quite a bit has happened: minor voice changes, chest “deflation”, libido reincarnation and the beginnings of facial hair growth?! to name just a few. however, none of those things hold a candle to the unexpected health benefits that i’ve experienced since starting T as someone who is anemic. maybe staying on T long-term wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all…..? cue melodramatic music, but not really.
anonymous asked: Hey, just wondering if anyone knew a good place to find safe binders for someone with really small ribs (only 28 inches around) but an extremely large chest (H+ cup) or if it was even possible? I’m getting surgery in a year and a half or so, but I have kind of awful dysphoria sometimes to the point I dissociate because it triggers my anxiety and then turns into “well that’s not you, that’s someone else, you’re not here” hi, anon. i’m afraid that i won’t be of much help to you as i can’t say that i’ve read any binder reviews, or heard of any explicit statements on the behalf of the companies that make them, about a binder being made with measurements like yours in mind. that said, i did a quick search and found this that may (or may not) be of help to you?…
thank you @gc2b-apparel for the awesome sale! and thank you to BetterHelp.com, who sponsored this video about online therapy. most of all, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who watched it and to those who went a step further and even gave BetterHelp a try, you are The Awesomest Awesome to ever Awesome. i want you all to know that it’s entirely thanks to you that i can even afford these new binders at all. after nearly 4 years of wearing the same binders, which don’t even really bind at all anymore– which in turn has caused me many “ffffff– gotta layer! ffffff– layering does nothing– FFFFF” days– it’s more than about time that i get new ones. upcoming binder review once they make it to Japan and i’ve had time to try them out? probably. perhaps what i’m looking forward to the most is seeing how Nude No. 2 looks against my skin…
anonymous said: If I may ask, considering how you had to continuously rework how to define yourself, was your self-esteem affected in any way? do you find that your social dysphoria has worsen in the last few years, now that you know yourself better? i’ve always had piss-poor self-esteem and that continues to be the case today, so i’m afraid i have no idea whether or not the journey of self-discovery that i’ve been on over the years has affected that at all. i suspect not, though. as for dysphoria, be it social or otherwise, i do experience more dysphoria now than i did in the past and i do feel like for me personally there is some kind of correlation between becoming more comfortable with and confident in who i know myself to be gender wise and experiencing more dysphoria.
anonymous said: do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general? sorry if this bothers you i’m most certainly not an expert on gender admiration / envy, mind you, but… i feel like anyone has the potential to experience it. having said that, i’m currently under the impression that it’s very much a thing among LGBTQIA people and that some are more apt to experience it than others…? and as always with anything of this nature, different people experience it in different ways. for someone who isn’t cis, gender admiration / envy may be related to gender dysphoria and / or gender euphoria, for example, whereas for a cis person it may not be.
anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂
as someone who is non-binary but who does not identify as trans, i have a rather complicated relationship with the term and concept of “transitioning” and with trans-specific community, resources, etc in general. this video, a submission to the #NonBinaryYT collaboration project, is about my personal relationship with trans identity, my coming out process, what has and hasn’t changed for me during the 4 years that i’ve identified as non-binary, thoughts on “transitioning” as non-binary and conflicted feelings about rejecting trans identity. ————– TIME POINTS ———— @ 00:00 – Intro: What is #NonBinaryYT? ——– (ie. you should totally participate if you’re non-binary and interested) @ 01:00 – Q1. Do you identify as trans? What does that mean to you? ——– (ie. not identifying as trans and why that is uuggghh) @ 02:58 – Q2. What did coming out for the first time look like for you? ——– (ie. discovering the word…
anonymous said: I just watched your new video on being non-binary and ace. When I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms there were more strong and rigid. I identify as mostly a girl but in Italy there is so much open hypersexualization of black women. I wanted to be completely invisible,masculine, and felt way more asexual and dysphoric than in America. Do you experience these changes in intensity when you travel? oh my god yes. a million times yes. gender norms, like social norms in general, are very much tied to culture, which means that they differ from culture to culture. on top of that, when you’re immersed in a culture that’s different from your own, the differences can exacerbate how one feels about the norms of the culture you’re immersed in… while…
