“love languages”?? communication tool.
i don't remember when i first heard about Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages (5LL) or in what context; my shotty memory can barely even remember what my MBTI type is...
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Q&A: communication in Japan
anonymous asked: hi, ive sent you a question before about worrying of getting into the jet program and before i could finish my application one of the two big eikawas i applied to wanted to hire me on the spot! im leaving at the start of march im excited and have done my research but im worried about communication between me and my japanese co workers, being american i p much am a really direct person and i know japan isnt like that from living there for a few months, so do you have any advice on communication? ( re: this post ) congrats!! and 久しぶりです。 thanks for coming back and sharing the good news. 🙂 when it comes to advice, as i said to a recent anon, every situation is different. in fact, especially when it comes to advice, your mileage will vary no matter what i tell you,…
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Q&A: “What’s the best way to tell him without ruining our relationship??”
anonymous said: So I recently began flirting with a coworker as a joke, but then I thought maybe I was attracted to him. I invited him over and we talked and watched movies and then we started kissing and it was so nice and I felt so loved, but for the past week now I feel like I can’t even make eye contact with him bc I feel so awkward. I know I’m lithromantic, but I always hope that maybe I’m not whenever I’m attracted to someone. What’s the best way to tell him without ruining our relationship?? sorry for sitting on your ask for two months, anon. chances are that responding to it now won’t be of any use to you. on top of that, i’m also no good at giving relationship / communication advice, so apologies for that as well. having said all that, i’m generally a fan…
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Q&A: “So I got a very flirty personality. My flirting however is I’d say 90% non sexual…”
songsandtimetravel said: Ok. So I got a very flirty personality. My flirting however is I’d say 90% non sexual, and the other 10% is with the people I feel a mutual sexual “connection” with. I know that my friendliness have been confused with sexual attraction before with non-ace people. I love my personality but as I get more involved with the queer and non binary community I get get to know more Ace-people too, and I don’t want to come off as overly sexual or make them uncomfortable.Got any thoughts on what I can do? sorry for taking so long getting back to you. not sure if you even still want to hear my thoughts, but… i think that the situation that you’ve found yourself in is reflective of an overarching problem within society as a whole rather than being reflective of a problem with flirting or your personality.…
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Q&A: “Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person?”
aarusiel said: Hey, Vesper. Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person? I feel like all I ever do is end up hurting the other person because I can’t meet their needs sexually. Is it better to just not date? …i’m afraid that i’m probably one of the least suitable people to answer this question for a variety of reasons. that said, i don’t think that there’s any reason for you to not date. when it comes to any kind of relationship, a big part of avoiding false expectations and assumptions that can lead to hurt feelings– and make no mistake, it’s that (imho) that’s the cause of the other person’s hurt feelings, not you being unable to compromise yourself for them– is communication. if you talk to each other and you make your boundaries clear (which can be done without actually coming out as ace,…
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Q&A: “I identify as gray-ace, but it feels too vague to me and causes unnecessary worries to my partner…”
anonymous said: Hi Vesper! I identify as gray-ace, but it feels too vague to me and causes unnecessary worries to my partner about pushing me to do things I don’t really want (that never happens). I haven’t been able to find a more specific term. I do feel sexual attraction, so much that it’s obvious to me, but only when I decide I want to feel it in an interaction with someone. Cupio and recipro don’t fit. I call it conveniosexual as a joke because it is convenient, but is there an existing word? …i really hate to say this, but if your partner is concerned about pushing you to do things that you don’t really want to do, it seems unlikely to me that changing your identity would at all be a solution for that. forgive me if i’m out of line for saying this, but i’m doubtful that…
