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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic?”

    February 23, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m having a hard time lately. I have been trying online dating for awhile (tinder etc. guys only) and am finding I get bored really fast and have no interest to carry on conversations or meet up – maybe I just have no desire to date right now. Lately I’ve also been noticing that when I go out I tend to notice the girls in the room before the guys. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic? How do you know the difference between that and just appreciating people who look nice? personally, if i’m experiencing aesthetic attraction (ie. in admiration of someone’s looks), it’s very similar to being in admiration of anything else. i love their sense of style or their overall look and that may trigger the desire to approach them and compliment them, but the admiration or attraction ends there if that’s…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    humbled

    July 31, 2018

    QAC 16 – Asexuality and the LGBTQ Community

    September 9, 2013

    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

    February 24, 2014
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    #SpiritDay2015

    October 15, 2015 / No Comments

    as a teacher i’ve seen and heard of a lot of bullying, especially here in Japan where, sadly, #SpiritDay isn’t even really a thing. even though none of my students will take notice of it, i’ll be wearing purple today in honor of #SpiritDay. ※ took it upon myself to edit some of GLAAD’s #SpiritDay images to make them more accurate about myself and included an illustration of some homophobic and transphobic things i’ve heard my students saying to each other.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan

    January 6, 2018

    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    “”two genders””

    December 30, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts

    cautious optimism: yet another conversation with mom

    September 27, 2015 / No Comments

    for those who don’t know, i stopped talking to my mom back in July. the situation with my mom evolved over a long period of time and i’ve talked about it twice on YouTube. [ 1 + 2 ] well, today i want to say extremely tentatively that it seems like some progress has been made in terms of restarting our relationship. i’m trying really, really hard not to be overly optimistic because if i’m wrong and things fall apart again, it will hurt all the more if i let my guard down and allow myself to be happy now. (tl;dr below) in recent weeks prior to today mom has made attempts at contacting me with such conversation starters as “help me understand.”, “what is it you want me to say?” and “i’m taking your sister to the ER so i thought i’d message you (ie: please talk to me).” aside…

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    Vesper H.

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    This Is Fine.

    July 14, 2018

    Snapchat rant #457

    July 15, 2016

    random is random

    August 9, 2015
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi?”

    September 24, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, so I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi? Do I still have the right to call myself bi? I don’t know I feel like I’m not bi enough there is no such thing as being “not bi enough”. the only thing that determines your identity is how you yourself identify. this is but one of the many reasons why i despise the Kinsey Scale, actually. it implies that there is some kind of sliding scale of “straightness”, “gayness” or “biness”, which is utter bullshit. no one need fulfill some arbitrary minimal requirement of “biness” or order to identity as bi. nor does anyone need to have some arbitrary minimal amount of experience with more than one gender in order to identify as bi. no one need prove nor justify their bi identity to anyone. that includes struggling to justify it to yourself, imho. if you feel like…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

    September 23, 2015 / No Comments

    happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…

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    Vesper H.

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    Re: QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 23, 2016

    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I like most genders but not male so am I poly?”

    September 19, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I like most genders but not male so am I poly? I always said I am biromantic and like most genders but not male, however am I actually polyromantic, not biromantic?   first of all i’d like to throw out my personal definition of these two identities/orientations so that we’re on the same page. biromantic: romantic attraction to two or more genders. polyromantic: romantic attraction to multiple genders. given the definitions above, biromantic and polyromantic are not mutually exclusive. there is overlap between the two definitions; “two or more” is analogous with “multiple”, the main difference is semantic. having said that, that isn’t to say that biromantic is analogous with polyromantic. both orientations are also identities. identities which are tied to their own respective histories, communities, etc, which are often tied to that of the bisexual and polysexual communities at large. the point i’m trying to make is…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: ” I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo?”

    August 1, 2015 / No Comments

    coffeeartheart said: So I watched your video ‘QAC 03’ and Its a lot to take in. I’m 20 and it just occurred to me that I may be (if I got it right) a Biromantic Homosexual but I was looking for conformation: What if I love ladies sexually in both a visual and physical way and I find guys attractive in a sexual way and want them to hold me, but the moment things get even remotely sexual it’s like I thought of dead puppies. I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo? Sorry for my personal inquiries..   hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. your ask itself is most certainly not something you need apologize for! a common misconception that people have is that bisexual are assumed to be equally attracted to all of the genders that they are attracted to. while…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “if someone is a cis girl who is romantically attracted to girls and nonbinary people is she considered biromantic?”

    July 6, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: if someone is a cis girl who is romantically attracted to girls and nonbinary people is she considered biromantic? or does biromantic just refer to being attracted to the binary genders?   biromantic describes anyone of any gender who is romantically attracted to two or more genders, be those genders binary or not, so yes. biromantic would totally describe the person in question. it’s also worth mentioning that although biromantic is more commonly used, polyromantic– ie. romantic attraction to multiple (but not necessarily all) genders– could also describe the person in question. which term a person uses ultimately comes down to personal preference.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals, but…”

    June 25, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m questioning currently. I’m female but attracted to males, demiboys, and some agender and genderfluid individuals. But mostly masculine presenting nb individuals. Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals. But I’m MOSTLY attracted to masculinity.   hello, anon. i’ll be honest, this is kind of a tough ask for me to answer. it sounds like you’re looking to define your sexuality based on the appearance or gender expression of the people you are attracted to, whereas my understanding of attraction (in terms of orientations) is more based on a person’s gender identity rather than how a person presents themself. you said that you are mostly attracted to masculinity. people of literally ANY gender can present themselves in a masculine manner. does this mean that you could potentially be attracted to a masculine person of…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What is the best way to help myself figure out [whether I’m bi or pan]?”

    June 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I can’t tell if I am closer to pan or bi because I live in an area where most people are male or female. What is the best way to help myself figure that out?   listen to your heart and go with whichever word you feel describes you. you don’t have to have experience with a person of every gender to identify as one or the other. just go with what feels right based on how you feel now and in the future, if it turns out that another word describes you better, than you can switch to using that word if you so choose. just checking, but do you know that both may describe you? because there is overlap between the two. [+bonus reading]

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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