biromantic Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation…”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation. Mainly because I don’t really care what someone’s gender is… Like as long as you’re not a jerk I’m okay with you. For some reason I just don’t know if I’m actually Asexual Heteroromantic, like it’s typically the male gender that I want to have a romantic relationship with but I’ve felt that way about girls? What am I?! (Also I recently discovered your blog and I thinks it’s awesome.) hello and thanks for following. 🙂 i’m afraid that i can’t tell you what you are. after all, there’s no way that i could know more about you than you know about yourself. that said, if you feel like you might be attracted to people of more than one gender (or any gender) then perhaps you are…? trust in your own feelings, but also keep in mind that it’s perfectly fine…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia?”

October 12, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! i have a bit of an akward question: Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia? I’m bi and i dislike penises. There’s no way around it, i’ve tried a few and they just don’t do i for me. My LGBTI friends of course tell me i’m actually a lesbian, but that’s not it. It doesn’t matter the gender of the person attatched to the penis, i just don’t like the thing and it freaks me out because what if i’m faking it? Can i be bi and don’t like dick? hi anon, anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, can be averse to or repulsed by genitalia. genitalia aversion / repulsion– or any other kind of aversion / repulsions for that matter– does not define your sexuality unless you feel like it does. who you’re attracted to (or not attracted to), how…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can I be heterosexual but biromantic in this case?”

September 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hii… Ummm I have a question. I’m a cis-woman. All my life, I identified as just being straight but for a couple of years now, I have found myself being attracted to several women who seem androgynous or more masculine presenting(?) Idk if this is a good description. Idk what to feel bc I’m not sure if I want to have sex with them but I am attracted to them? Can I be heterosexual but biromantic in this case? I’m so confused. I feel weird my feelings are all over the place. hello. 🙂 there are certainly people who identify as biromantic heterosexual whose experiences are similar to yours, anon! having said that, i think you’ll also find that people with experiences which are similar to yours identify in all kinds of ways because there is no One True Way™ for anyone to identify. for example, not everyone…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic…”

July 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello! I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic, yet I can’t seem to make sense of it. I also noticed you used all three terms, minus the ‘-romantic’ suffix. Would you be willing to talk about how those three connect for you, even just briefly? Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. hi. 🙂 how being bi, pan and ace connect for me, eh…? mmm… well, the short and simplified way that i usually go about explaining my sexuality to people is that i am (have the potential to be) attracted to people of any gender, but that attraction is never sexual. …and unless the person in question responds to that with further questions or i feel like going into more detail than that, i usually just leave it at that because i think that’s as…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i’m a non-binary person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan?”

July 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: so, i’m a non-binary (more specifically trans-masculine) person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan? like, i have a hard time figuring out what to call my sexuality, since i feel that many of the labels for sexuality aren’t really designed with nb people in mind. i just… don’t know if you’ve ever had similar feelings? oh definitely, i have felt that way before. in fact, i was at a non-binary meeting yesterday and this was a subject that came up. some people took no issue with bi, while others did. there was talk of how pan was coined in response to (the assumption of) bi being binarist and erasing or exclusionary of non-binary people and how people felt about that. some felt it was a good thing that pan was coined, others had no opinion as they don’t identify as either and were sorely missing the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity?”

June 28, 2016 / 1 Comment

anonymous said: I have a question. I saw your post about how you find it a but annoying that people either assume you’re bisexual or bi romantic, when you always just say bi. And I’ll admit that since you are also asexual my first reaction was to assume you were biromantic, I’m sorry. But it confuses me a little. Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity? It’s okay if you don’t want to! I’m just trying to understand (in response to this post) first off, even though i felt a need to vent about it because it is annoying, i want to point out that i’m not offended or angry when someone misreads my bi identity, especially if they’re understanding when/if i correct them. there are so many reasons why a person would automatically read “bi” as either bisexual or biromantic that it almost…

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Vesper H.

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that feel when

June 23, 2016 / 1 Comment

everyone outside of the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘bisexual’ and everyone within the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘biromantic’ because everyone assumes forgets that a person can just simply be bi or that there’s more to a person’s sexuality than just -sexual / -romantic.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing?”

June 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 50 – Biphobia x Non-Binary Erasure x Binarism || Bi Non-Binary People Exist

June 12, 2016 / No Comments

everyone experiences the intersection(s) of their gender and their sexuality in different ways, but i’ve seen little thought or attention given to how a biphobia affects bi non-binary people even within bi communities, despite the fact that non-binary erasure and binarism often occur hand-in-hand with biphobia. in this video i give air to three (3) of my biggest frustrations or ‘pet-peeves’ regarding intersections of biphobia, non-binary erasure and binarism that i experience both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community. ========JUMP SPOTS ========== @ 01:00 ~ 1. insisting on defining bi(sexuality) as attraction to both / two genders hint: some bi people define their bi identity in this way and that is entirely valid, however these definitions are no longer the most common ones among bi people for reasons. @ 03:55 ~ 2. claiming that bi(sexuality) is inherently binarist hint: stop using the existence of non-binary people as a means…

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Vesper H.

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#LeaveElsaAlone

May 11, 2016 / 1 Comment

quoted from a Tumblr post: Okay so I’m not against #GiveElsaAGirlfriend or anything, but I identify myself as an asexual person and honestly I would be really happy if there could be a princess who doesn’t need a prince or a princess or anyone. It would be really cool if there can be just one Disney character that does not need that kind of love, because being asexual is not easy to explain and much less to understand for others and yeah I think that #LeaveElsaAlone is much more accurate. please note: the following isn’t directed specifically at the OP so much as it’s directed at anyone & everyone who thinks that #LeaveElsaAlone is a good idea. could aces please, please, please not do that really shitty thing where you piggyback off of another community’s hashtag advocacy?? actually, this isn’t even piggybacking, really. i consider #AllLivesMatters to be piggybacking off…

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Vesper H.

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