bi Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I identify as homoflexible, it’s what fits me best, but I didn’t realize it was biphobic…”

December 23, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said Hi I saw your post about homoflexibility and I wanted to ask you about it. I think I identify as homoflexible, it’s what fits me best, but I didn’t realize it was biphobic and I’m really freaked out because I don’t want to be biphobic it’s just what fits me best. I don’t consider myself bi because while I occasionally can have attraction to guys I don’t want a relationship(or sex) with a guy, I just don’t. But I’m not a lesbian either because I can occasionally experience attraction to guys. hi anon, first of all, sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i hope you’re well. i’m guessing that the post that you’re referring to is this one? as i tried to make clear in the original post, i was only voicing my own personal qualms with common definitions of homoflexible (and heteroflexible) and…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year…”

October 2, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…

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Vesper H.

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Re: “”Visibility””

September 18, 2017 / No Comments

for the longest time it struck me as odd, the way that the LGBT community at large upholds “visibility” as some kind of goal or ideal to be fought for. it wasn’t until recent years that i actually stopped and thought about it enough to realize why reference to and usage of “visibility” in this way bothers me so much. as someone who has always been and will always be hypervisible because of their race, it baffles me when people advocate for visibility as if visibility is what we all want; as if visibility is even a means to getting what we all want. this upholding of visibility as something important for all of us to fight for seems grossly negligent of the fact that some of us are already more visible than others and that that very visibility is part of what has gotten some of us bullied, turned away…

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Vesper H.

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August 21, 2017 / No Comments

unimportant meta announcement, but: #VesperSpeaks* …so every now and again i sit in front of my laptop and bang away at it like Keyboard Cat, usually resulting in long-winded rants or random posts about feels… or something. Tumblr being Tumblr, those posts are subsequently lost to the abyss that is this blog soon after i post them, never to be seen again without digging through tags. this page is a non-exhaustive compilation of some of the things i’ve “written” with videos sprinkled in, organized in descending chronological order by category. #LGBTQIA in Japan* i often get asks asking me about things related to Japan or the Japanese language and from time to time i write spontaneous posts related to my experiences in Japan. this page is a compilation of some of those posts. disclaimer: in case this isn’t already clear, please note that everything on this page and on…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual?”

July 6, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual? coz i used to think i’m straight but now i’m a bit attracted to girls??? maybe i’m simply just bi-curious??? if you mean is there a word for being primarily attracted to people that society has decided are “the opposite” gender from you, but occasionally / fleetingly / sporadically / spontaneously being attracted to people society has decided are “the same” gender as you, heteroflexibility, bi-curiosity and bisexuality come to mind. heteroflexibility is probably closest to the word that you’re looking for, but at the same time i hate to see bi-curiosity being dismissed as being “simply just” anything like this. society as a whole has this ridiculous tendency to be dismissive of bi-curiosity and people who feel a tie to this word, with such bullshit quips as “everyone’s a little bi!” similarly, people are quick to decide that someone isn’t bi…

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Vesper H.

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Black Mirror: “San Junipero”

July 6, 2017 / No Comments

got home from work, made dinner and sat down to watch another episode of Black Mirror on Netflix before bed, as one does. was totally not prepared for what turned out not to be the queerbaiting i first assumed it to be, but to instead be a heart-wrenching queer romance between a bi / multiple gender attracted black woman and a gay woman exploring intimacy for the first time. not only was the story itself a tear-jerker, the characters themselves were well-developed and included quite possibly the most in-depth and positive representation that i’ve ever seen of a bi black woman character in particular in popular media. even consent– something that a lot of media doesn’t put enough thought into– was handled fairly well (imho) and the episode certainly explored things that other media tends to only dance around if touch upon at all, all crammed into a 60 minute…

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Vesper H.

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#TRP2017

May 11, 2017 / No Comments

a recap of Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017 via my Twitter account(s). the tweet(s) about the pamphlet showcasing various flags by Love Piece Club will be the subject of the next post…

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Vesper H.

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…mmm, so.

March 24, 2017 / No Comments

i’m extremely busy and low on spoons right now, so i’ve been silently keeping a very weary eye on the ongoing situation regarding YouTube’s age-restricted censorship of LGBTQIA content. as youtuber after youtuber responded to the censorship of their videos and the outcry from youtubers and non-youtubers alike grew, i’ve remained silent because, as i said, i’m extremely busy and low on spoons– but also because i glanced at Creator Studio, the backend of YouTube for content creators, and saw no change in my video listing or anything else that indicated restriction. well, my exhausted, weary (and wary) ass turned on “Restricted Mode” tonight. 29 out of 65 of my videos and 4 entire playlists have been marked as potentially inappropriate for young viewers. and you know, if i weren’t barely functioning, struggling to even find the time to eat and sleep right now, i’d most certainly be livid and…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now?”

March 6, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper. So Idk how to put it but I identified as a straight girl my whole life until recently. I’ve been getting attracted to women. I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now? Idk how to feel about this bc I know ppl have discourse about whether you’re born LGBT+ or you can change into it and I’m confused. I’ve never thought about being romantic with women before but right now I’d be totally ok. idk Why all of a sudden. I feel fake idk is this a normal feeling? hi, anon. i’m no expert, but i think it’s safe to say that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon at all. like many things in life, sexuality can change. that is to say that who one is attracted to, the ways in which you experience (or even don’t experience) that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have a question about the definition of bisexuality.”

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I have a question about the definition of bisexuality. I’ve been using a “same + different” -definition and that’s what I’ve seen being used the most. “Two or more” is alright, but if “same gender” is not required, why is it not under heterosexuality? I’m assuming the reason is political, but I want to be sure. hello anon, i’m guessing that this ask is related to this post where i say that i personally find defining bi as attraction to “same and different / other gender(s)” to be problematic. there’s actually nothing “political” about why a person doesn’t have to experience attraction towards people of the “same” or “similar” gender to be bi. that is, unless you consider the feelings and experiences of bi non-binary people to be “political,” which i sincerely hope not. the reason why i personally, as well as many others, find the “same and different / other” definition of bi to…

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Vesper H.

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