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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018 / No Comments

    …so, I’ve been reading “The Bisexual Option”, originally published in 1978 by Fritz Klein, in order to write A Thing, when I came across this gem. Feeling personally Called Out by it (who knew 1978 call out culture was so fierce?!) and yet am also not– all at the same time. Either way, feeling the need to put my sardonic lulz here for my own future entertainment. Oh, and no. As interesting as it is at times, I don’t recommend reading the book yourself unless you’re prepared to metaphorically grit your teeth the whole way through. Consider this to be me having read it so that you don’t have to. 🙂 Willing to share my findings with those who are interested, but really I’m just reading the book to critique it zzz…  

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    March 11, 2019

    ?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup

    April 29, 2017

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual?”

    July 6, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual? coz i used to think i’m straight but now i’m a bit attracted to girls??? maybe i’m simply just bi-curious??? if you mean is there a word for being primarily attracted to people that society has decided are “the opposite” gender from you, but occasionally / fleetingly / sporadically / spontaneously being attracted to people society has decided are “the same” gender as you, heteroflexibility, bi-curiosity and bisexuality come to mind. heteroflexibility is probably closest to the word that you’re looking for, but at the same time i hate to see bi-curiosity being dismissed as being “simply just” anything like this. society as a whole has this ridiculous tendency to be dismissive of bi-curiosity and people who feel a tie to this word, with such bullshit quips as “everyone’s a little bi!” similarly, people are quick to decide that someone isn’t bi…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013

    QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

    March 12, 2018

    QAC 02 – The Road to Asexuality

    May 17, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…the way mainstream media sexualizes wlw relationships so dramatically is making it really hard for me to figure out…”

    July 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi. I’m pretty sure I’m bi, but I’m on the ace spectrum and the way mainstream media sexualizes wlw relationships so dramatically is making it really hard for me to figure everything out. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do I get past it? i can’t speak for anyone else but myself, but at the same time i am fairly certain that many people (ace spectrum or not, woman themself or not) struggle with the hypersexualization of women in general in the media and trying to figure out one’s own feelings in spite of that hypersexualization. however, you’re not just anyone. trying to figure out your feelings in the midst of all this hypersexualization as a woman loving woman (wlw) yourself (or so i assume; apologies if i’m wrong) makes the stuff in the media feel all the more potent and difficult to navigate, i think. wlw…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016

    #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017

    ?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup

    April 29, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “I’ve heard of heteroflexible and gayflexible which means…”

    February 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: For the anon looking for a word / term: I’ve heard of heteroflexible and gayflexible which means you’re usually attracted to the other / same gender but sometimes also the same / other gender. I could also imagine biflexible and so on… (in response to this anon) heteroflexible and homoflexible (i’ve never heard of gayflexible nor biflexible) are words that i’m familiar with, but they’re also words that i personally don’t care to suggest to people. for one, the way i’ve seen these words defined and used seems problematic to me. let’s look at their definitions, for example. Heteroflexibility is a form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation that is considered to distinguish it from bisexuality. (Wikipedia) [Homoflexiblity] describes someone attracted primarily to members of the same sex (homosexual), but occasionally attracted to members of the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 19 – Asexuality: An FAQ

    October 25, 2013

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 45 – Forced Out of the Closet: 2 Years Later | Coming Out Again (Non-Binary Bi / Pan Asexual)

    January 26, 2016 / No Comments

    it’s been 2 years since i was forced out of the closet by my mom; it’s been 5 months since my last video about how things are going with my family. this video is long, but it’s also long overdue. the past 5 months have been an emotional roller coaster. from breaking off communication with my mom, to coming out to my sister as bi / panromantic, to being met with further attempts at invalidation, to being “home” for the holidays, to coming out as non-binary to my sister, to FINALLY being referred to by my real name…. 2 years later, things are finally looking up. kind of. only time will tell what 2016 will bring. TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse & child abuse with a time jump point in the video itself so you can safely watch and skip the trigger. […] long video is long, but that’s what…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    August 9, 2015

    chronic long-term memory problems…

    July 4, 2018

    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    on today’s episode of #ConversationsWithMom….!

    November 28, 2015 / No Comments

    ….so i just had another one of those crazy conversations with my mom (and my sister who was eavesdropping and repeatedly butting in) about sexuality that stemmed from her finally watching a documentary that i’d sent her about LGBTQ people in the black church. i mean seriously, it lasted over an hour and was all over damn place, so i’m not going to try to rehash what was actually said, but the highlights were: mom is still of the mindset that sexual orientation is a choice. she refuses to distinguish between sexual attraction (i used the word “chemistry” with her because she seemed to get that) and sexual behavior/actions one decides to take (or not take). ugh. both mom and my sister think that “everyone is bisexual” because everyone could choose to have sex with someone of the same gender if they wanted to. bi erasure runs in my family, apparently. mom…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017

    QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet

    August 11, 2013

    an example of intersectional acephobia if ever there was one…

    December 16, 2015
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community?”

    October 27, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community? Mostly in terms of being mistaken for a heterosexual couple and if this actually gives people privileges that people in non-heterosexual seeming queer relationships don’t have.   sorry for taking so long to reply, anon! it’s been one hellava week…. i’ve said this before in reference to other “het-blahblahblah privilege” arguments that people make, but i’ll say it again because it equally applies to this. having one’s identity erased by society due to heteronormativity is not a privilege. i will shout this from the rooftops until the end of time. society literally assumes that e v e r y o n e is straight until “proven otherwise”, i don’t care if that person is a lesbian, gay, asexual or anything else. and yet, for some odd reason *cough*biphobia*cough* i don’t see people making the argument that a lesbian, for example, accesses “straight…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Can I still be considered bi?”

    August 1, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I have a question, sorry if you’ve been asked similiar ones before. I’m sure you have. I’m a female and I like men and nb genders. I feel like I like other females too, but not to the same degree. I can see myself doing some sexual things with them, and I am attracted to the female body. But I don’t know if I would go all the way with sex with a woman. I feel like this somehow makes me less bi :/ I guess my question is: can I still be considered bi?   yes. 150% yes. it’s totally a misconception that bi people (and multisexual/multiromantic people in general) experience attraction equally or in the same exact way towards all of the genders that they are attracted to. this is nothing more than a misconception. a very harmful and often biphobic misconception– or even stereotype. more…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

    February 24, 2014 / No Comments

    long video is ridiculously long. sorry about that, but i had to vent somewhere. ====== NAVIGATION ===== @00:00 – and the story begins @04:46 – “i’m asexual.” @10:02 – “imma watch all your obviously private videos!” @14:06 – “don’t worry, everyone’s like that!” @17:05 – “omg stop saying that.” @22:00 – patience is golden @24:32 – her head didn’t exploded ====================== TL;DW: my mom found this channel and saw videos that i never wanted her to see and wasn’t ready for her to see. shit sucks. BUT my mom is doing her best with what she’s found out, which is good… even if her best is painful. anyway, patience patience….. and all that jazz. the cat’s out of the bag and is managing well enough thus far. hopefully time won’t make the cat regret being out of the bag…………… and i forgot to mention in the video that my mom…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    October 13, 2013

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013

    spotted: same-gender marriage feature on Japanese news

    October 12, 2015
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Art[sy Fartsy]

    “i am bisexual”

    February 2, 2013 / No Comments

    05/23/2018 edit: *scratches head* @2013 Vesper

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    random is random

    August 9, 2015

    humbled

    July 31, 2018

    Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!

    November 25, 2017

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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