asks Archives | Page 3 of 33 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year…”

October 2, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “I hate discourse!”

October 2, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: I hate discourse! Honesty it makes me feel like crap whenever I see it. I want it to stop. I hate that asexuality/ aromanticim has become a punching bag for a portion of the tumblr community and acceptable to mock. *gah* *nods* ‘discourse’ really is frustrating, among a million other things. not gonna lie, i’ve very much enjoying my time offline with Cal or online with Netflix– anywhere that isn’t Tumblr tbh. i’m a huge advocate of dropping Tumblr like it’s a bad habit when it gets to be too much (or when life happenings just otherwise makes Tumblr “eh”)– or alternatively, blocking (temporarily or not) people who bring (inadvertently or not) posts from the ‘discourse’ side of Tumblr onto your dashboard. alternatively alternatively, use browser extensions to block keywords or tags to help keep yourself from seeing such posts without out completely blocking out a person or their blog entirely. there…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Japan[ese], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Is the concept of a qpp common in the Japanese ace community?”

September 22, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is the concept of a qpp common in the Japanese ace community? in so far as i’m aware, no. i’ve never heard of anything that could be considered to correspond to the concept of (a) queerplatonic partner(s) (QPPs) or queerplatonic relationships (QPRs) in Japan. which isn’t necessarily to say that the concept itself does not exist at all, just that if it does i don’t think it’s common and i have not seen a single word or phrase used to describe such a concept… yet.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I have been enjoying your thoughts on visibility!”

September 22, 2017 / No Comments

adventures-in-asexuality I have been enjoying your thoughts on visibility! I’ve often thought of it as kind of the ability to access narratives about yourself (or about other people, I guess, but my priorities here are inherently centered on people being able to find narratives about themselves, or about who they want to be) – a bit broader than just fiction narratives, including things like healthcare narratives or relative narratives or what you have. I have said the word ‘narrative’ too much. ( re: this post ) thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂 i’ve actually never re+ally thought of narratives or the ability to access them as visibility, but as representation…. but now that you mention it, i guess it totally is a form of visibility, just not in the way that i usually think of visibility… …which i guess is part of the frustration that i have with usage of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…”love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating…”

September 19, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: I just had a eureka moment when looking at your recent reblog of a post on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating… As an aro ace, the whole “love” angle is definitely implicitly exclusionary. The core of my being aro ace is that I DON’T love anyone That Way, and community rhetoric consistently fails to reflect that. Not to mention that I find the “twoo wuv” thing eye-roll-inducing at times. Your thoughts? ( re: this post ) i agree that in addition to ignoring, excluding and / or alienating trans and non-binary people, as pointed out in the OP, such rhetoric also ignores, excludes and alienates those for whom “love” (be it in the traditional, romantic sense or at all) is not a thing– or at least, is not The Thing that defines their connection to the LGBTQIA community. such rhetoric posits love as some…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “i know yokohama has SHIP, an ngo which mostly does hangout type stuff, but they probably know someone”

September 5, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: i know yokohama has SHIP, an ngo which mostly does hangout type stuff, but they probably know someone ( re: this post ) !!!!! anon, thank you!! i already know of SHIPにじいろキャビン and have no idea why i didn’t even think of them at the time of answering the other ask… just further proof that i need more sleep, i guess… *sigh* anyway, as you said, SHIP is an NPO that runs the only LGBTQIA community center that i know of in Yokohama and hosts an assortment of monthly LGBTQIA events. i went to one event and checked out their community center once, but then work and finances got hectic and i haven’t been back since, sadly…. they seemed like good people, though. upon getting this ask, i immediately thought about dropping by there after work sometime to ask about counseling services, but then i went to their website…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Do you know of any LGBTQ (or LGBTQ-competent) counseling services in Japan?”

September 3, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Vesper, do you know of any LGBTQ (or LGBTQ-competent) counseling services in Japan? Specifically in the Yokohama/Tokyo area, but online resources would also be appreciated. anon, you must be psychic, because you have impeccable timing. i just had a discussion with my psychiatrist about this the other day and was going to keep on procrastinating writing about how it went, but your ask was the nudge i needed to get off my ass and write The Thing. you may be interested in reading The Thing, but in the interest of saving you some time, here’s a spoiler alert: my psychiatrist wasn’t all that helpful. if you’re looking for counseling services in English, he seems skeptical about there being anyone in the Yokohama / Tokyo area (in so far as he knows) who offer services specifically dealing with LGBTQIA people or the issues that we face. as for counseling…

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Vesper H.

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on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.
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Feedback: “it is so fucking cool to know that there is a resource for me to learn about queer language and culture in [Japanese]…”

September 1, 2017 /

anonymous said: Can I just say that as someone who’s currently learning Japanese in school, it is so fucking cool to know that there is a resource for me to learn about queer language and culture in this new language. glad to be of help, anon. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I had someone who was a POC tell me [maverique] was appropriative of POC cultures…”

September 1, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: This is probably a complex issue, so apologies in advance if I have to send multiple asks, but I’m white l, and recently I have been identifying as Maverique, it is the best way I’ve found to describe my gender and it sits very well for me, but I had someone who was a POC tell me it was appropriative of POC cultures and was basically just ‘white people taking it and making it okay to id as a third gender’ and, while I disagreed with them and it was very upsetting, (pt 1) I know it is not my place to argue with them over what is and isn’t cultural appropriation. I’m not really sure what to do, because they told me it would be racist of me to continue id’ing as maverique and that I should use neutrois or something similar instead, but neutral terms aren’t…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “So using “jibun” can work as a personal pronoun?”

September 1, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey i saw your post about how to say you’re NB in japanese and that’s super cool but i have a question. So using “jibun” can work as a personal pronoun? because i’ve seen it as such but i also thought it was closer to use it for the word “oneself” rather than a simpler “i” or “me”. Also it might mean “yourself” in kansai dialect or something? Could you expand on that if it’s not too much trouble? please and thanks ( re: this post ) 自分 (”jibun”) is a reflective pronoun that generally refers back to the person using it. how it translates into English is simply a matter of grammar (ie. what grammatical role it’s serving within a sentence). 例 / example: ※ 自分は別に納豆が嫌いなわけじゃないけどさ… JP： jibun wa betsu ni nattou ga kirai wake janai kedo sa… EN：it’s not like i particularly hate natto or anything, but… ※自分の誕生日さえも忘れちゃって、超恥ずかしい。…

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Vesper H.

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October 7, 2016