you’ve heard of asexuals, now get ready for
actually acknowledging the fact that they do not exist as two mutually exclusive groups of people, ie. aromantic asexuals vs (allo)romantic asexuals.
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re: “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal”
minamina0013: queerascat: minamina0013: queerascat: …as much as i love this thread of posts in theory, my tired ass can’t help but sit here wondering why anyone need even get married at all to do or have any of the above things, the few actual legal matters that were mentioned aside. also, this uplifting of “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal” feels incredibly uncomfortable… @queerascat I agree I think a lot of those things could be achieved by simply being roommates. It’s pretty funny that what they’re dubbing as “the New Platonic Ideal” already has a name, it’s called “friendship”. Aromantic relationships could be called friendships if that’s how you want to label it but personally as an aro I would consider a relationship with another aro as queer platonic. Our relationship may not be romantic but I wouldn’t say that my QPP(s) and I are just ‘friends’ who…
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Q&A not Q&A: “So there’s a book called Ashlesha by Jer Keene that has an aro/ace character…”
libentianimo said: So there’s a book called Ashlesha by Jer Keene that has an aro/ace character. As in, they EXPLICITLY say the word aromantic and asexual to describe him, and explain what aromantic and asexual mean. Nearly all of the characters are queer-some are bi, some are gay, some are undefined, there’s a nonbinary trans character, and the majority(including the main character) are people of colour. The plot is amazing, too-scifi meets political conspiracies meets action thriller. It’s absolutely AMAZING. this is the book, i believe? it does sound interesting and has a lot of positive reviews on Amazon. thank you for the recommendation. 🙂
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Q&A: “Is it possible for someone to be aromantic and bi/pansexual?”
anonymous asked: Is it possible for someone to be aromantic and bi/pansexual? I’m not trying to be rude or anything. I’m genuinely curious because you’re one of the few people I’ve come across whose biro/panro and ace, so I’m just wondering if one could be the former. I hope I didn’t word this incorrectly. If this ask comes off as harmful in any way, then I’m sorry. it’s more than possible, anon. i think you’ll find that there are plenty of aromantic bisexuals and aromantic pansexuals out there who would be more than happy to speak to the fact that their existence is more than just a possibility, it’s fact. 🙂 in other words, someone can most certainly be aromantic and bisexual / pansexual, anon, and no worries! your ask is worded just fine.
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Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”
anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…
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Q&A: “…i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual…”
anonymous said: For a while i considered myself a lesbian and now im “talking” to a girl and i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual. I mean there was a time where i didn’t like anyone romantically and sexually. Now this realization is making things really confusing for me and I mean I want to try a relationship with the girl Im talking to but things are just so confusing. Lmao sorry for bothering you about my problems but idk what to do?? you’re not bothering me, anon. no worries. questioning can be really tough in general, but even more so when you’re in the middle of wanting to try having a relationship with someone. that said, questioning doesn’t have to stop you from going ahead and trying a to have a relationship if you don’t want it to. some may prefer to hold off on…
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Q&A: “If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but…”
anonymous said: If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but not want a relationship with anyone but girls you most certainly can, anon. aesthetic love does not dictate who you may want to have a relationship with. the only thing that decides that is literally who you want to have a relationship with.
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Q&A: “Im 17 and Idk who im romantically attracted to…”
Kat said: Im 17 and Idk who im romantically attracted to I see girls & guys as cute & I haven’t dated before & don’t care but in the future I would like a partner regardless of gender but wat am i? Ik im ace but like idk if I’m aro or something pls help:) -Kat hi Kat, i’m afraid i can’t actually tell you something about yourself that even you yourself do not know, but i will say this. it sounds like something that you do know about yourself is that you’re ace and that you’d like a partner regardless of gender in the future. that’s actually a lot to know about yourself! 🙂 while it’s obvious that you’d like to know more than that, i hope that at least knowing that much about yourself can be of some comfort or encouragement to you. it’s natural to be curious…
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Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”
anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…
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Q&A not Q&A: “i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic…”
anonymous said: i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic e.g. is looked down upon a Lot in the community. it’s the special-snowflake-mogai-tumblr-a-spec-uwu kind of stuff that non a-spec people demonize and it makes me feel icky to identify as such but i still want to express my identity? so i use alterous (re: this post) …ah, yes. the whole “everyone’s panplatonic because everyone makes friends regardless of gender! stop trying so hard to be oppressed you special snowflake lulz” that i’ve seen some ‘discoursers’ spout. usually the same people who also make fun of aplatonic as a term. i totally support you and anyone else who uses alterous for themself regardless of the reason for doing so, anon. at the same time, i can’t help but be annoyed / pissed off that some people’s ignorance has made another identity feel inaccessible…
