aromantic spectrum Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Art[sy Fartsy], Queer[ness]

Re: Demiromantic and Gray (a)romantic Flags

August 4, 2017 / No Comments

queerascat: pride-flags: queerascat: after making the arospec pride flag set, something about the demiromantic and gray (a)romantic flags really bothered me. the aromantic flag has no purple in it. from what i remember of that flag’s creation, this was done intentionally to distinguish aromanticism from asexuality as the two are often mistakenly linked. shouldn’t it be the same for the demiromantic flag vs the demisexual flag and the gray (a)romantic flag vs the gray asexual flag? in replacing the purple with green, there is a more visible connection to aromanticism and thus to being part of the aromantic spectrum. i think i will go ahead and revise the pride flag photoset, but thoughts anyone? i’m probably not even the first to think of this, but yeah? Are you the creator of these pride flags? Just wondering. …i hesitate to say that i am the original creator of these flags as…

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Vesper H.

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re: “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal”

December 7, 2016 / No Comments

minamina0013: queerascat: minamina0013: queerascat: …as much as i love this thread of posts in theory, my tired ass can’t help but sit here wondering why anyone need even get married at all to do or have any of the above things, the few actual legal matters that were mentioned aside. also, this uplifting of “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal” feels incredibly uncomfortable… @queerascat I agree I think a lot of those things could be achieved by simply being roommates. It’s pretty funny that what they’re dubbing as “the New Platonic Ideal” already has a name, it’s called “friendship”. Aromantic relationships could be called friendships if that’s how you want to label it but personally as an aro I would consider a relationship with another aro as queer platonic. Our relationship may not be romantic but I wouldn’t say that my QPP(s) and I are just ‘friends’ who…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “So I think that I’m aromantic?”

August 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I think that I’m aromantic? Because like in all my 20 years of living I’ve never ever had any kind of crush or romantic feelings at all. The thing is, the idea of being in a romantic relationship sounds really nice to me. Is it possible to be aro but want to be in a romantic relationship? Like although I don’t get any kind of desire in regards to romance I still kinda want a relationship… I’m so confused it most certainly is possible to be aromantic and to want to be in a romantic relationship. while it is true that some aro people do not want to be in a romantic relationship, being aromantic is still by no means synonymous with not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. in my humble opinion, being aromantic in and of itself says nothing about the types of relationships…

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Vesper H.

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on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.
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Q&A: “I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual…”

July 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous post: I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual. Is asexual generally used by all aces on the aromantic spectrum or do arospec aces who sometimes feel romantic attraction (such as grey aromantics) typically prefer to use nonsexual? I’d like to get more involved with the ace community when I (hopefully) move to Japan, but I feel like the Japanese terminology doesn’t even let me describe myself… (re: this post) bearing in mind that everything i’m about to say is based entirely on my own limited experience and observation… i can count the number of times i’ve met or heard of a Japanese person actively identifying in some way as gray or demi on one hand. generally speaking, awareness of nuanced ace & aro spectrum identities / orientations is hardly a thing among Japanese aces. the only time i hear any explicit mention of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels!”

June 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels! I identify under both the ace and aro umbrellas, but it’s weird and hard to explain and trying to say I’m bi/pan/poly/etc (even without -romantic) carries that weird connotation that doesn’t fit me. I actually think you just managed to put my feelings into words??? I’m having an epiphany and I need to go think about this more. (re: this post) i know right? i’m also very fond of ‘queer’ as a word and identity and identify strongly with it. sometimes i refer to myself as a ‘queer asexual’ rather than as a ‘bi / pan asexual’ for the sake of brevity and/or to avoid assumptions, depending on the situation and who i’m talking to. whenever i do that, ‘queer’ isn’t acting as a replacement for ‘bi’ or ‘pan’, but rather as yet another…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused.”

June 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Question!! I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused. I think I like quioromantic, but also I feel like idemromantic could apply. Since the two are similar, how would I decide which is more accurate in describing myself? Thanks! -Cio Oh! And also, does it make sense for me to want/be in a romantic relationship even if I (don’t know if I) feel romantic attraction? If one of my close friends asked me on a date I’d quickly agree, but is that fair to them? -Cio i often suggest to people to try an identity / label ‘on for size’ to see how it ‘fits’. sometimes it’s hard to know whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to you just from read definitions and researching the experiences of others who identify as the identity / label that you’re interested in. sometimes things become a lot clearer more quickly by…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it.”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it. Basically, the definition i experience is the one where once my feelings are reciprocated, that romantic attraction fades away. It doesnt have to necessarily mean that i get uncomfortable with having my feelings reciprocated, does it? Like, i dont necessarily mind if my partner says all these lovey dovey stuff, but most of the time i dont exactly say it back. Sorry im confused ㅠㅠ hi, anon. 🙂 being lithromantic does not mean that one automatically finds reciprocated romantic attraction repulsive upon ones own attraction fading, nor does it imply that one feels any particular way about having one’s romantic attraction reciprocated. being lithromantic means that once romantic attraction is reciprocated, the attraction that you feel fades. that’s all. what happens after that differs from person to person.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it.”

April 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I know this discourse isn’t front and center rn but I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it. I hate the “more than friends” thing. I hate “just friends.” I have a QPP I feel platonically attracted to, and I have two romantic partners, but I also have a lot of people that I’m just attracted to on a deeply emotional level and it doesn’t make sense for me as a quoi person to try to distinguish whether it’s romantic or platonic, because it just…is. I really couldn’t tell you how I feel. Trying to label it conventionally (or at all, in most cases) just doesn’t work and feels forced. Alterous is the only descriptor I’ve really found for it. I just wish that the person (people?) describing it were….better at…

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Vesper H.

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usage of “alterous” vs “platonic” in aro discourse

February 22, 2016 / 3 Comments

i hesitate to post this at all*, but i’ve been casually mulling it over for a little while now and am getting no where in keeping this to myself, so here goes nothing… there’s a relatively new word going around on Tumblr: alterous.

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Vesper H.

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EVERYTHING ASEXUAL AND AROMANTIC (Part 1) | The ABC’s of LGBT

January 15, 2016 / No Comments

youtuber @ashleymardell just released part 1 of her long awaited trilogy on asexuality and aromanticism! this video series is about both asexuality and aromanticism and is part of a larger series of videos called “The ABC’s of LGBT”. you might be thinking that this is probably just another one of those asexuality or aromanticism 101 videos made by someone who isn’t ace or aro themselves, but that’s the thing. it’s actually not!

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Vesper H.

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