Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness]

re: one step forward, zero steps back?


so, after going to an appointment with my psychiatrist and blabbering about how much being around my family fucks me up whenever i go “home” for the holidays, which i’d be doing in less than a month’s time, causing him to be like “but what if you relapse??? consider upping your meds before you go???” and me being like “at least i’m on meds at all this time around so lolololol nah”– i felt the need to just…. really DO something yesterday.

so i did the something.
and the something will happen 4realz for realz tomorrow.
so yeah, Anxiety word vomit blogging at 9:35pm at Starbucks.

over the past three weeks or so i’ve been emailing a clinic that had been recommended to me by a friend re: starting HRT. after three weeks of no response to said emails, i decided to sneak out of work yesterday (because the clinic is seemingly only ever open while i’m at work) to call them.

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so remember that time i said that there are two options in regards to pursuing HRT in Japan? well, i oversimplified things a bit. i neglected to mention

option 3: the not illegal, but not 100% ‘legit’ either, way

of which i am now very much a fan, although like everything, just because it works well for me doesn’t mean it works well for everyone.

and by “it” and “option 3″ i mean going to a clinic where the doctor is more progressive and open minded than your average doctor, but whom the rest of the GID diagnostic community takes issue with because he’ll give you a quickie diagnosis with proof instead of subjecting people to “established” diagnostic practices and going through the “right” channels to do so, which in turn makes his diagnosis and proof thereof unacceptable where a more “official”, legal document is required, but otherwise is accepted just fine everywhere else.

option 3 works great for me because it cuts out all the hoops and bullshit that Is Bullshit but still allows me to start T, change my name on some things and pursue surgeries in Thailand in the future. the things that it won’t allow me to do are of no consequence to me, so what the fuck ever. GID is a bullshit “disorder” anyway, imho, so i’m more than happy to not have my life experiences held up to and / or rejected by its shitty diagnostic criteria anyway.

as for how the appointment itself went, what i was asked, what was expected of me, etc– stay tuned for my next video in which i’ll talk about all of that. hopefully i’ll be able to get it shot, edited and uploaded really soon, but no promises because work is eating up most of my time right now.

with proof of a diagnosis and a Post It with handwritten recommendations for places to get cheap testosterone in Yokohama in hand, the next hurdle i’m faced with is finding a clinic that will administer testosterone in low doses as per my personal preference #BecauseJapan and then deciding when i want my “T-Day” to be.

oh, and surviving 10 days with my family. but let’s not think about that.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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