[A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

Q&A: “i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi…”

anonymous said:

i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi, i can see myself holding her hand and kissing her and i’m okay with that, i wouldn’t mind that. i’ve never felt this way about a girl before and honestly i’m so confused. i’ve never seen myself in the way w a girl before. most of my friends are bi, or gay, i am one out of the three straights in our group. but i’m not sure anymore any advice ?

it can be really confusing, disorientating and even scary to be faced with feelings / experiences that you’ve never had before. perhaps try thinking of it as an opportunity to explore something new rather than it being something that you have to figure out about yourself. life in general is an adventure that we’re all living rather than a quest with an “end game” and sexuality is a part of / no different from that.

roll with what you’re feeling / experiencing, reflect back on it afterwards to check in with yourself and take note of how you feel, but at the same time try to remember that no matter what happens and no matter what anyone else says, your feelings / experiences (no matter what they may be) are valid. no one knows how you feel or what you experience better than you do and even if you yourself can’t make heads or tails of things at times, that’s alright too.

you may feel pressure, be it from others or even from within yourself, to try things or to identify (or not identify) one way or another; others may attempt to invalidate your feelings / experiences and you might even end up inadvertently invalidating yourself. no matter what ends up happening, though, remember that you and only you are in control of your life and your identity.

most importantly, be sure to give yourself the time and space to feel how you feel, experience what you experience and learn about yourself as you go.

perhaps not the best advice, but wishing you all the best, anon.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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