[A]sexuality,  Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community…”

anonymous said:

hey i just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community. i think that has to do with the history the ace community has on tumblr. two, three years ago, the argument wasn’t whether aces belonged to the community; the argument was ‘you aren’t asexual if you aren’t sex-repulsed’, which was debated and disputed for a very long time until terms like grey-, demi-, that sort of stuff started to come out and become more popular and accepted. the discourse used to be ‘a is for asexual, not allies’ and about being sex repulsed. and i think that the struggle to find validity in /their own community/ has caused a lot of splintering that has affected how people treat the ace community today. NOT to say they are to blame for how they’re treated, by any means, i don’t want it to come off that way. but god, the discourse of years past have really affected things. exclusionists have made way for more exclusionists today and have made it harder for the ace community and i dont think people realize how different it was a few years ago on tumblr. it was more policing individual people rather than an entire group. and when that happens, it’s so much harder to reunite as a whole. in retaliation to ‘you can only be ace if…’, people had to find new ways to find validation. (mind you, i doubt that tumblr is responsible for the various terms that have come out of this discourse; some of the terms, but not all of them). but yeah. just thought i would add my 2 cent


(re: this post)

hello, anon. 🙂 thanks for adding your two cents. i hope you don’t mind if i follow it up with my own.

it’s certainly true that things that have happened in the past on Tumblr factor into the state of the ace community on Tumblr today, but do bear in mind that my post was not specifically about the ace community on Tumblr and the history that has affected and continues to affect the Tumblr ace community extends beyond Tumblr itself. there were sharp divisions among aces when i first stumbled across asexuality in 2002 / 2003 and there continued to be equally sharp divisions among aces when i rediscovered asexuality 10 years later in 2012. the landscape of the community may have changed, but divisions have existed within the community since before there even was a community proper, let alone discourse, and i have existed within those fissures since discovering asexuality the first time some 15 odd years ago.

i understand that there is actual rhyme and reason behind the current state of the ace community and tried to acknowledge that in my original post. that said, as important as that rhyme and reason is, it is of little to no consolation to me. not only do i have to navigate the fissures present in the community, i literally exist within them and that renders my entire experience with the community uncomfortable and exhausting at times.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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