[Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Japan[ese],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

on perpetual exhaustion

that feel when someone asks you how you are and you respond saying that you’re “tired”, knowing full well that they’ll take what you said differently from how you meant it.

but that’s okay.

because you’re fucking tired. you don’t have the energy to do anything about their understanding of the word anyway. hell, you yourself may not even know what kind of tired you are that day.

are you depressed tired?
are you anemic tired?
are you queer tired?
are you gaslighted tired?
are you black tired?
are you expat tired?
are you anxious tired?
are you one of the Many Other Kinds of tired?
are you All Of The Above And More tired?

ah yes, that’s right. you are a unique concoction of All The Above And More tired, further compounded upon by having to persevere through life as if you aren’t actually tired at all. when life is a constant state of exhaustion of some kind or another, “tired” is an understatement to say the least.

but that’s okay.

among everything else, you are tired, after all. in every sense of the word. at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter to the person asking what kind of tired you are.


at least it’s less of a lie than your usual, empty “okay, i guess.”

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.


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