re: Q&A: “Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+?”



anonymous said:

Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing.

hello, anon.

what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and it’s rather offensive (and telling) that she even feels entitled to comment on what ace and / or aro people face in terms of oppression. on top of that, it’s clear that she considers oppression to be a requirement for being part of the LGBTQIA community, which is quite frankly utter bullshit.

honestly, everything that your friend said (and more) are things that some people on Tumblr have been asserting for some time now and there is no shortage of posts refuting such assertions. see this masterpost on it, for example.

your friend is entitled to her opinion, just like everyone else, but i do encourage you to form your own opinion on the matter. if upon doing so you find that you disagree with your friend, do use your best judgement to decide whether or not it’s worth confronting her about it. please don’t put yourself in a bad position, especially if you friend has no actual power over others to harm them with her opinion.

at the end of the day, your friend and those like her can voice their ignorant opinions all they like, but they do not actually have the power to decide who is or who isn’t a part of “the” LGBTQIA community and i honestly find it rather obnoxious that anyone feels like they do have any such power, let alone knowledge of others’ experiences with oppression.

sorry but ace and aro people aren’t lgbt unless they’re queer/trans! i’m ace and that part of my identity doesn’t make me lgbt, my pansexuality does, along with the fact that i’m trans. it’s not an ignorant opinion coming from me is it now? an actual ace person? ace/aro people do not face oppression because they are ace/aro, sorry.


by all means, please do unfollow or even block me if you think that my blog is “dumb” and you disagree with what i have to say because i will continue to voice my opinion as i see fit. seeing as how, you know, this is my blog and that’s literally what it exists for.

as i said in the OP, you are entitled to your opinion just like everyone else. that said, are you a cisgender heteroromantic ace? even if you were (which you’re not), do you get to speak for anyone else but yourself? no. then:

…i honestly find it rather obnoxious that anyone feels like they do have any such power [to decide who is or who isn’t a part of “the” LGBTQIA community], let alone knowledge of others’ experiences with oppression.

is as applicable to you as it is to anyone else attempting to gatekeep and speak to experiences that are not their own. you being ace yourself does mean i have to or even should agree with you, nor does it automatically make your opinion of others less ignorant, “sorry.”

my opinion on this matter is mine to have and is not open for debate. feel free to continue to vehemently disagree with me, as i do with you, but my engagement in this non-conversation ends here. i will not give such opinions any sort of platform nor audience on this blog by engaging with you (or anyone else) any further.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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