[A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic?”

anonymous said:

I’m having a hard time lately. I have been trying online dating for awhile (tinder etc. guys only) and am finding I get bored really fast and have no interest to carry on conversations or meet up – maybe I just have no desire to date right now. Lately I’ve also been noticing that when I go out I tend to notice the girls in the room before the guys. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic? How do you know the difference between that and just appreciating people who look nice?

personally, if i’m experiencing aesthetic attraction (ie. in admiration of someone’s looks), it’s very similar to being in admiration of anything else. i love their sense of style or their overall look and that may trigger the desire to approach them and compliment them, but the admiration or attraction ends there if that’s all it is is aesthetic attraction.

on the other hand, at times aesthetic attraction can also be tied to other types of attraction that may be romantic, sexual, etc.

i’m afraid that i can’t really tell you how to tell if what you’re feelings is purely aesthetic attraction or a combination of something else because there are so many other things that it could be combined with. you could be biromantic, you could be bisexual, you could even be both.

my advice would be to just go with it. go with whatever you happen to feel at any given time and focus on it. how do you feel? is it purely admiration or attraction based on aesthetics or is there more….? note how you feel over a period of time, i’m sure you’ll notice all kinds of interesting things that may confuse you, but that’s okay. give yourself the time and space to reflect on things. perhaps things will become clearer or you’ll notice a pattern that may help.

all the best, anon.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

Leave a comment?