Q&A: “I think I’m asexual, but my friends are all like “You should at least have had sex once to know that for sure!””

anonymous said:

So I think I’m asexual, but my friends are all like “You should at least have had sex once/masturbated once to know that for sure!” but the thing is I really think sex is gross. Like, I can’t even imagine having sex with someone and I already tried masturbating many times, but I never thought about it as something that gives you pleasure since I never had an orgasm or something like that. I just don’t know how to feel about all this or what to think.

you do not need to have had sex or masturbated to know who you are. no one does. your friends are wrong.

chances are that your friends knew who they were before they ever had sex or masturbated. they just knew. they obviously do not realize it, but they’re being hypocrites by holding you to a standard that they do not even hold themselves to. hell, you could counter by saying “but how do you know that you’re _____ if you’ve never had sex with (whatever gender(s) they consider themselves to not be attracted to)?? you just know, right? the same goes for me.”

that said, if they’re not only hypocritical of you but acephobic in general, even pointing that out to them may not work.  either way, your friends are wrong. please don’t let what they’re saying get to you– you know who you are. they don’t. they should recognize that you know yourself better than they will ever know you and that you know what the hell you’re talking about. they should be supporting you and i sincerely hope that they get their act together and do. make it clear to them that you did not confide in them about your identity to be treated like you do not even know yourself.

stay strong, anon. wishing you the best. <3

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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