[A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Do you think its okay for me (personally) to reject the idea of romantic orientation?”

anonymous said:

Do you think its okay for me (personally) to reject the idea of romantic orientation? I don’t feel like I fit with aromantic either. Romantic orientation just doesn’t feel like a useful concept to me. I feel like I can’t even distinguish “romantic attraction” and “sensual attraction” and whatever. The way I’m attracted to people is in a way that I can’t pick apart: all the feelings go together and nothing stands out as ‘this specifically is romantic attraction.’ Can’t I /just/ be asexual?


without a doubt you can (and should) feel free to discard or reject the idea of romantic orientation etc etc in regards to yourself if you do not find the concept to be useful to you. there is absolutely no requirement that you identify or describe yourself as anything. 

honestly, it would do the asexual community good to recognize that romantic orientation (among others) is not a useful nor relatable concept for everyone, asexual or otherwise. romantic identities are so common place in asexual circles that having one and stating it has seemingly become ‘the norm’– almost to the point of it being assumed that if you don’t describe yourself as XYZromantic that you aren’t mentioning your romantic identity because you’re uncertain of it, not because you simply do not identify in such a way.

….which leads to people such as yourself wondering if it’s even okay to not have a romantic identity and/or to discard the idea of romantic orientation in regards to yourself all together.

this makes me sad… this is a problem. the community (if there even really is one *cough*) should take note of this problem.

this isn’t to say that there hasn’t already been talk of this topic, because there has been. you’re not alone in feeling the way you do, anon. see this post by gradientlair, for example. i also know that some people who identify as wtfromantic / quoiromantic also feel similar to you, anon.

but still, there needs to be more awareness of the fact that hey! romantic orientation isn’t a thing for everyone and that is 200% okay.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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