Q&A: “I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual.”

anonymous said:

Hello, Vesper. I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual. I know I am gender neutral, or non-binary, but I have been questioning my sexuality. I know I have a high sex drive, but I’m unsure about my sexual attraction. I am sexually attracted to two people that I have know for almost a decade now, but those are the only two I’ve ever had a sexual attraction to. Also I appoligize about going anon, but I dont feel comfortable stating my sex drive under my profile. :o)


hi. 🙂 sorry for not responding sooner.

you’re probably already aware of this, but figuring out one’s sexuality is an extremely personal process/journey. there is no particulare way that one goes about doing it. that said, i think that the process/journey regarding discovering one’s sexuality is similar in some ways to how one goes about discovering one’s gender in that often a lot of self-reflection is involved. it sounds like you’ve already been reflecting on things, so things you’re already well on your way. 🙂

sex drive/libido doesnt really factor into things since sexual orientations are based on who you’re sexually attracted to. you said that you are sexually attracted to two people who you’ve known for a long time. perhaps it would help to look into the various identities/orientations that exist on the asexual spectrum. you may find similar experiences among gray aces and/or demisexuals, for example.

i usually provide likes to things that might be helpful, but my laptop died last night (*cries*) so i’m on my phone and unable to do so. sorry. 🙁 try checking out the’ace spectrum’, ‘gray asexual’ or ‘demisexual’ tags on my blog or on Tumblr in general.

wishing you all the best! sorry i can’t help more…

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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