Q&A: “Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all. the girl im dating is trans and…”
Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all,the girl im dating is trans shes really great and im attracted to her but im unsure if i would enjoy having sex with her and i do not want her to be offened for not being attracted to her genitals
you don’t seem to be asking a question in this ask, so i’m unsure what kind of response you’re looking for. that said, there seems to be something that you haven’t considered (or at least haven’t mentioned here) that i’d like to point out.
while it’s good that you’re concerned about how your lack of attraction* to certain genitalia could be offensive to your girlfriend, you don’t seem to have considered her feelings beyond that? that she may not be comfortable having sex with you to begin with for various reasons.
the topic of sex and everything related to it, including BOTH of your comfort levels regarding it, is something that the two of you will have to navigate together eventually, when the time is right. until then, i would suggest that you do not preoccupy yourself with your girlfriend’s genitalia and instead seek out resources** for partners of trans women and educate yourself so that you can be the best possible partner to your girlfriend.
wishing you and your girlfriend the best, anon.
* i do not want to make assumptions about you, anon, but i felt a need to mention that how a person feels about genitalia can go beyond mere attraction/lack of attraction. one could be averse to, repulsed by and/or disgusted by genitalia for numerous reasons that i will not go into. for your own sake just as much as your girlfriend’s, it’s worth looking further into how exactly you feel and why you feel that way, imho.
** to get you started, a few links that may be helpful as the partner of a trans woman:
- “How to Respectfully Love a Trans Woman” – Everyday Feminism [tw: sexnormativity, amatonormativity, sex talk]
- “Getting With Girls Like Us: A Radical Guide to Dating Trans* Women for Cis Women” – Autostraddle
- “Dating As A Transgender Person” – PrincessJoules (YouTube) [dating from the POV of a trans woman]
- “Thoughts for partners of trans* people” – First Time Second Time
- “Essential Things To Think About For The Best Possible First Date With A Trans Women” – Everyday Feminism [tw: sex talk]