Q&A: “It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever…”

anonymous said:

It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever. I appreciate the attempted support, because, by all means, let’s compare notes (otherwise, what’s the point?). But it bothers me nonetheless when the hatred specifically aimed at us is described as nothing but misdirected run-off from other groups. I want acephobia to be taken seriously in its own right, not just as a form of accidental collateral damage. Your thoughts?

i totally understand where you’re coming from and can relate to feeling miffed at times when seeing some people compare “ace discourse” to past “discourse” involving bi people, trans people, etc. sometimes it’s done well and other times it’s…. yeah.

before i say anything else, i have to admit that i myself also compare the current rendition of “ace discourse” and general acephobia on Tumblr to past (and present) “bi discourse” and biphobia etc, describing it at times as “repurposed biphobia etc” because that’s exactly how it feels to me. like you said, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with noticing history be repeated and pointing out how something from the past is being used again against another group of people.

that said, i personally become miffed when someone notices the acephobia in a post specifically about aces but then instead of calling out the person for the acephobia instead goes on to talk about only biphobia (and / or transphobia, but it’s most often biphobia) and past bi discourse without mentioning aces even once or only mentioning aces in so far as to say that they support them. sometimes there really is no actual acknowledgment of (let alone response to) the acephobia even though it’s the thing that’s actually happening in said post, and that really bothers me. as you said, even if something is the same shit being rehashed verbatim against another group of people, acephobia is still not biphobia is still not transphobia etc etc and in a post that is specifically about gatekeeping aces it’s acephobia that’s happening, not biphobia.

and like you i appreciate the sentiment, but if your fight against “ace discourse” doesn’t even include actually addressing the acephobia in the discourse then…. yeah. your allyship and support needs some work, imho.

similarly with National Coming Out Day having been yesterday, i saw a number of posts from lgbt allies along the lines of “You can come out if you’re ace / aro.” some even went so far as to say “You have my permission to come out if you’re ace / aro.” i totally get what they’re trying to say and do, but….. yeah, no. no.