Q&A: “I want to come out to my friend, but I just don’t know the words for it…”

anonymous said:

I want to come out to my friend, but I just don’t know the words for it. I think she already knows, but I want to confirm it and then talk about it, because I’m tried of being alone. Any advice, vesper?

i don’t know if this would work for you, anon, but…

since you suspect that your friend may already know, perhaps you could go off of that and just casually slip it into a random conversation instead of making it a serious conversation specifically about you coming out?

by that i mean that if an even vaguely related topic just happened to came up, you could say something like “well, being ______ and all, i feel like….” or “you know, i must be ____ as hell because i totally…..” or some other casual way of mentioning your sexuality / gender / etc phrased in a way that implies that being who you are is a given / is common knowledge between you and your friend. that way if your friend didn’t already know your casual mention of it could flip a switch in their head without it being obvious that that was your intention.

i don’t know if this helps you any, anon, but if you do come out to your friend i hope it goes well. hopefully your friend can be the friend that you need them to be so that you feel less alone.