Q&A not Q&A: “Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT…”

anonymous said:

Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT+. I guess the reason why I asked here is because I wanted to get a broader opinion other than just hers because I was taken aback when she said that. I’ve read up on it a bit more and I get that Ace/Aro can be cis and hetero but the ace/aro identity is still there…. so I literally don’t get how they can’t be part of LGBT+ according to her, so I’ll talk it out with her. Thanks for the resources, good stuff.

(re: this post)

based on my observations, often the people who focus their gatekeeping efforts on cisgender heteroromantic asexuals and / or cisgender heterosexual aromantics are people who view asexuality and / or aromanticism as a “blank slate” or lack of orientation. something to be overlooked in order to focus on what attraction / orientation is there, based entirely on the faulty assumption that everyone is attracted to someone. in the case of cis hetero aces and aros, that means the hetero part of their orientation gets hyperfocused on to the point that gatekeepers see no difference between them and cisgender heteroromantic heterosexuals…. however, this line of thought erases the asexual and / or aromantic identity(/ies) of all aces and aros, resulting in bi aces being seen as ‘just bi’, gay aros being seen as ‘just gay’, etc with the added bonus of “you should really work on your internalized homophobia because you’re really just ___, you know.” and let’s not forget how such thinking completely fails to even acknowledge the existence of aro aces.

anyway, wishing you all the best talking to your friend, anon. i hope she actually hears what you have to say.