Q&A,  Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I didn’t hurt her, but I don’t know why she cried either?”

cw: sex mention

anonymous said:

I (female) had sexy-time with my sort-of-girlfriend and as I thought she was about to have an orgasm, she started crying. Of course I stopped and asked what happened after she calmed down. I didn’t hurt her, but I don’t know why she cried either?

that’s something that only she can tell you, but chances are that since she didn’t tell you why when you asked at the time, it may be something that is really hard for her to talk about for various reasons.

you could try asking her again, but at the same time you must be understanding if she isn’t able to tell you. apologize for hurting her even if there was no physical pain and do your best to be supportive. reassure her that you’re there for her and that you don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want to do. tell her that it’s okay if she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it and that there is no rush to do or talk about anything. as much as you may want to know why she cried, it’s imperative that you do not rush her.

take things slow and be attentive to her. support and reassurance from you is what she needs right now, imho. what happens next is something you’ll have to decide together.

all the best, anon.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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