Q&A: “people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them…. and i never really felt like that…”

anonymous said:

hi, ive been thinking lately, people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them all along but only understanding it then. and i never really felt like that, not in a way i realize now. and maybe it was the way i was introduced to lgbt+ stuff (im really forever grateful for having someone to do that cause it really got me out of a toxic homophobic mindset earlier on) but it makes me wonder if im really trans, bc like being trans makes me really happy, but it was never really a click for me more of a slow, ‘hey! Maybe this is me?’, idk i feel like i probably could’ve gone on my whole life being a ‘woman’ if i didn’t know about trans/nonbinary people :/ its really upsetting cause now im starting to think, what if im just doing it for attention??

Honestly right now im almost 100% sure i could not be asking you this for any other reason than validation, but i think my self evaluation is getting to deep cause i guess sometimes i need validation :/// i just wanna get this outside of my head

your identity is valid. your experiences are valid. you are valid and you have my support 100%.

despite how it seems, not everyone has a moment when suddenly things click into place. for many, coming to identify as trans, non-binary or anything else is a slow process; one that doesn’t necessarily even have a clear start or finish.

there are lots of trans and non-binary people who go through life without ever coming out to themselves or others, without actively rejecting their assigned gender at birth even if they do question it, etc. for some, going through life like that is incredibly taxing but they could (and maybe even do) still do it. for others, doing so wouldn’t be so taxing. not everyone feels compelled to actively reject the gender they were assigned at birth, even if they are trans or non-binary. it’s just that those that do feel compelled in such a way are the ones that we all hear about the most.

the “trans narrative” that’s so prevalent within society is by no means representative of the diversity that actually exists among the experiences of trans and non-binary people.

there really is no “right” or “wrong” way to be trans or non-binary (or cis).
there really is no “right” or “wrong” way to be who you are.

self-acceptance is hard. being confident in who you are amidst so much negativity and lack of representation of your experiences/feelings is even harder. however, no matter how alone or how different you feel from your fellow trans or non-binary people, you’re never truly alone.

you are 100% valid. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, even yourself.